What a welcoming crew...

Can we really adopt again if there is not a single different color of lightsaber available for purchase for our new child? I hate for the kid to feel left out. Sadly, this is only 1/2 of the lightsabers we own (not pictured: another green, another blue, and two red).

Yesterday the four families we listed as references for our home study agency received their questionairres in the mail. Three knew what it was... the one Doug was in charge of telling, his sister, was caught off guard! :)

The Header Explained

So when I redid my other blog I knew we were getting ready to start paperchasing again and I made the header for this blog knowing that it would need to change... obviously at some point a picture will go in the middle but we will put our newest child's name in the header as well. Mei Mei is "little sister" and the kid vote in our house is 4-0 for someone littler than each of them so that means younger than Brynn's 3 1/2. The vote is split 2-2 or 3-1 either way depending on the day for a boy or a girl and Doug and I have not ruled out a boy, but I think we are leaning towards another girl. Not because girls are easier (we have found the opposite) but because we would like for Brynn to have an Asian sister (and Brynn consistently votes for a girl when we ask). So putting everybody's "requests" together we are paperchasing for a girl from China born after May 2006 with a special need we feel we can handle. Just like this blog design... all subject to change! :)

And its off!

My friend Denise decided this morning to accept the referral of her daughter and I was so excited for her and that feeling pushed me to the mailbox. I resisted the urge to fetch the application back out and was relieved when I noticed the red flag was down. We have officially started the adoption process... well in our hearts and heads we probably already have but now the paperwork and fees begin!

Guess Doug needs to tell his sister since she is listed as a reference. The other three references are the people who are as equally as crazy as we are with their many kids OR who know we are crazy but love us anyway... I'll let them decided which category (of not both) they are in! :) Think we will hold off on telling others and just drop hints for a while still but I am betting my parents figure it out soon. My mom is well aware of my 1 1/2 year urge to expand our family even though I think she expects those urges to go away at some point!

For those of you who don't know me, I know you might be thinking, "Geez, if you are that unsure why are you doing this?" We know we want more children. We know this is the path we want to take. I have panicked at at least one point with each one of my children before they "arrived" thinking of the what ifs so this is typical me. The fact that I jumped full force without hesitation into adopting last time is very out of character for me... I am a don't rock the boat, play on the safe side kind of girl. Notice I am returning to China again instead of looking at another country... because it is familiar now. I am sure that I'll panic a few more times before this is a done deal. Trust me, it is all good!! :)

Kate

For my eyes only... for now at least!

Okay, I am writing to myself but if I want to document our adoption story in its entirety, I need to start now 'cause I have a terrible memory and someday, this blog will likely be made public.

I emailed our social worker last month to start a homestudy to adopt again. She was excited; in fact at the 1-year follow-up of Brynn's adoption she asked us when we were going to adopt again so I think she just knew we would call some day. We have filled out the application, written a check for the fee, addressed and stamped the envelope, and well, for two weeks it has remained in my bag.

Are we ready? Should we be content having four beautiful, happy children and stop while we are "ahead"? Are we just plain crazy to think to do this again?

Something is holding me back but I am not sure what. Fear I guess... I am more nervous this time to adopt than last time. Last time we jumped in and educated ourselves during the process. This time we know more. This time we know the potential joy... and the potential heartbreaks.

I need some of Brynn's fearlessness right now!!!